


Vignettes

by Hardwood_Studios



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Male Slash, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 02:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hardwood_Studios/pseuds/Hardwood_Studios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Anakin remembers every moment that brought them together, every moment that kept him sane. Star Wars Rewrite. Anakin/Obi-Wan [Slash]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vignettes

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: Yes, it is time for Star Wars. My Spring Break is coming to a close, and I've pretty much spent the last week watching and rewatching the entire Saga. And writing this, obviously. I'm proud of it, somewhat. A few parts I don't care for, but...I write. Writers are damn critical. This is basically a rewrite of Episodes I, II, and III. It's told in brief little scenes, by Anakin. I'm telling you right now, this follows the movies very closely. The dialogue is damn near exact, except for a few obvious exceptions. If you haven't seen Episodes I, II, and III - Go watch them. Because you will be horribly confused. 
> 
> Pairing? Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Head over flipping heels. Because I love them together, and you should too. 
> 
> Warnings? Meh. Nothing really. Nothing too graphic, but this is still slash. If that isn't your cup of tea, be gone. I didn't give a whole lot of background information for each scene, so you might be a bit confused. Even if you have seen the movies. Heh, sorry. I sort of assumed everyone was as obsessive as I am.

[9]

I remember when we met.

I was naught but a youngling, barely cresting into my ninth summer. Things were changing too quickly. I was leaving my homeworld, amidst strangers on a shiny starship. My young heart beating like rain against my breastplate. We were caught in pursuit by Darth Maul, a particularly vicious Sith Lord, and it was frightening. Despite all my bite and quick wit, I was scared. I’d never known such murderous intent in one being. 

We were in the air, grazing over sandy dunes, and I feared Master Qui-Gon was to be left on the barren planet. He was directly responsible for my freedom, and I’d grown attached. He was strong and wise, like the father I never knew. To lose him so soon would be a cruel yet predictable turn of events. My life up until that point had seemed like one bad punchline. Waiting for the silver lining, only to be disappointed day in and day out with the fixed, grey skyline. 

But I wasn’t disappointed. Master Qui-Gon was there, rolling into the holding bay scant seconds before the doors could snare him. I was so happy, I remember smiling and blinking back the wet heat. My hair [shaggy and bright with the twin suns] was spilling into my face and tickling my cheeks. I ran to greet him, my small feet slapping the durasteel. “Are you alright?” I crouched next to him, fear gripping my throat in a vice. 

I paid little attention to you, hovering so close. But your presence was quick to command my attention, as it always is. 

“I think so.” He sat up, frowning and wincing. 

“What was it?” You asked. I remember your voice, how smooth it was. Not like sand or rock, but fluid and lilting. I looked at you then, and your young face is fresh in my mind. Chestnut tufts and a single telltale braid, the strong tan line of your jaw, the deep wrinkle in your brow. I stared. 

“I’m not sure.” He breathed. “But It was well trained in the Jedi arts.” R2 beeped and chimed nervously. “My guess is...It was after the Queen.” He said solemnly. 

“What are we going to do about it?” I demand. I could feel your eyes. A quick glance, but it burned me like blaster fire. Qui-Gon sighed mightily, his forehead shining under fluorescent lights. “We shall be patient.” He looked at me, a barely smile curling his mouth. 

“Anakin Skywalker...” He gestured to you, and our eyes met. Clashing like ancient blades, melting and mixing like a core. A string tied tightly between us, connecting and stretching taut. “...meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.” 

We shake hands. I remember how big your hand was, it completely enveloped mine. Our palms warm close. “Hi!” I beamed at you, and you smiled. Your face softened, lines and creases smoothing into sunny patches. “You’re a Jedi too? Pleased to meet you!” I babbled happily. You didn’t say anything, but you didn’t have to. 

x

My future was to be decided.

I remember standing before the Jedi Council. It was intimidating, I was only a child. But you stood at my back, and you were warm. Your warmth seemed to seep through my tunic and into my skin, wrapping about my spine. I drew comfort from your presence, even if you were ignorant of mine. 

A voice came suddenly from behind. “The Force is strong with him.” 

“He is to be trained then?” Qui-Gon sounded expectant. 

“No. He will not be trained.” Master Windu said, not a single stutter of sympathy. It felt like my heart had dropped into my belly, swallowed up by gurgling acid. 

“No?” 

“He is too old.”

“He is the Chosen One. You must see it.” Qui-Gon was pleading. I’m not certain what he saw in me, I was just like any youngling. His dedication was solid and stonelike in my shifting, sandy world. I wanted to matter, to grow big and strong. I wanted to be a hero, to save the Universe one Galaxy at a time. Qui-Gon believed I could, and that meant something. Master Yoda makes a considering sound. “Clouded, this boy’s future is.”

“I will train him then.” Qui-Gon’s hands came to rest on my shoulders, they were heavy. “I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner.” My blood was running hot. My heart was slamming into my ribs, I feared it would break free of its ossein cage. “An apprentice, you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take on a second.” Master Yoda said in his boggling, backwards syntax. 

“The code forbids it.”

“Obi-Wan is ready.” He argued.

“I am ready to face the trials.” You stepped forward, tall and proud in your spilling brown robes. I couldn’t stop staring. I was so absorbed in you then, my childish hero worship, and little has changed since. “Our own Council, we will keep on who is ready.” Master Yoda had such faith in you, he saw the strength and the courage and the intelligence. Just as I see it in the handling of your ‘saber or the split-second-decision mid battle. 

“He is headstrong and has much to learn of the living Force, but he is capable. There is little more he can learn from me.” Qui-Gon saw it too.

“Young Skywalker’s fate will be decided later.” Master Yoda taps his gimer stick on the ground. 

“Now is not the time for this. The Senate is voting for a new Supreme Chancellor, and Queen Amidala is returning home. Which will put pressure on the Federation, and could widen confrontation.” Master Windu, as always, was quick to stab the heart of the matter. Being as young as I was, I got lost in the talk of politics and diplomacy. 

“Go with the Queen to Naboo, and discover the identity of this Dark Warrior. This is the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith. May the Force be with you.” With those famous departing words, we left. And I’m afraid for you. Danger awaits you on that faraway planet.

We never got the chance to know one another.

x

I ducked down behind anything solid, blaster fire falling around me like colorful rain. The hangar echoed with sounds of battle, shouts and crashes. Sparks sprayed the air and droids clattered to the ground in pieces. It was chaos, and I found safety in the cockpit of a fighter craft. Ships were zooming out of the hanger in small clusters, their jets leaving blue smears of fire to scorch the midnoon sky. 

I saw Padme’ and her ensemble of armed men shooting their way through plastisteel limbs and heads. “My guess is the Viceroy is in the Throne Room.” She said, wielding her blaster like some fabled woman warrior. “Red Group, Blue Group, everybody this way!” Captain Panaka called. You and Qui-Gon were a step behind them. I wanted to help, I needed to prove myself to you. “Hey! Wait for me!” I spring from the cockpit. 

Qui-Gon would have none of it. “Anakin, stay where you are. You’ll be safe there.” 

“But I-”

“Stay in the cockpit.” I wasn’t needed. 

The hangar doors hissed open, and my throat closed up around any argument. Draped in black, his red face and yellow eyes peer from underneath a dark hood. Darth Maul, easily recognizable. I shrink back, but you step forward. You weren’t scared, but I was scared for you. “We’ll handle this.” Qui-Gon is calm. 

“We’ll take the long way.” And Padme’ fled the hangar with her outfit of soldiers. I watched her go, but my eyes returned to you. 

You walk forward, long and easy strides. Darth Maul shakes the hood from his horned head, and I cringe. You all disrobed simultaneously, like it had been rehearsed. I couldn’t look away. My fingers were crossed, and I was praying to the stars. Things were happening too fast, we had barely spoken! Then came the Destroyers, tumbling into the hangar and mechanically drawing their weapons. They opened fire. “We gotta do something, R2!”

R2 beeped and hummed at me. “I’m trying to, I don’t know where the trigger is!” I started pressing buttons, any button. I was desperate, I couldn’t let you get hit by stray fire. 

Then we were moving, the cornflower yellow craft bumbled forward. “Oops, wrong one. Maybe this one!” 

The lucent hatch locked into place over my head. “Nope. Wait, here it is!” 

I fired on the unsuspecting droids, green plasma blasts ripping through their shields. Then I was in the sky, ascending into black depths and stars and colorful crossfire, and I had to focus on my own fight. 

x

Everything was over. I stayed close to your side. Master Qui-Gon was no more, he had fallen to the sizzling red blade of Darth Maul. I feel the first stirrings of anger in my stomach, like coals smoldering wanton scarlet, but your hand settles around my neck. I forget my childish hatred, and lean into you. 

We stand together, and watch his cold body burn. The flames waver around him, crawling over his robes in orange wisps and red flakes. Smoke rises and furls over him in sentient black whispers, escaping between cloaked bodies. I feel my eyes warming, moisture gathering at the ends of my blonde lashes. As if sensing my distress, you turned to me. We search one another. “What will happen to me now?” 

“The Council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise.” And I know your word is good as gold. In that moment, you were my comfort. My rock midst a sandstorm. I clung to you, sought your protection and kind words. You were the center of my small world. 

x

[20]

We stood side by side in the pod, the steel city falling at our backs. I remember feeling hot next to you, uncomfortably so. I adjust my robes, and you spare me an amused flash of too blue eyes. “You seem a little on edge.” You always put me on edge. 

“Not at all.” You bring a pink flush to my cheeks. 

“I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of Gundarks.” You were mocking me, I could hear it in the fine trembles of your voice. I huffed, thinking of the fearsome anthropoids with too many arms. “You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you. Remember?” I accused lightly. You looked away, and smiled something small and guilty. “Oh. Yes.” You chuckled, your lips closed and your throat shaking. Your laughter was contagious.

“You’re sweating. Relax, take a deep breath.” You said. You assumed Padme’ to be the reason. I did miss her, she was a dear friend. But she didn’t make me hot, didn’t make me sweat like you did. Tightening my shields, I cleared my throat. I went with your assumption, for the truth was too forbidden to voice. “I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.” I must have sounded convincing, because you smiled again. 

x

We were in her living quarters, I remember. Padme’ lay asleep in the next room. “Captain Taifo has more than enough men downstairs, no assassin would try that way. Any activity up here?” You shrugged out of your robe, the cream tunic tapering your broad shoulders. I swallowed. “Quiet as a tomb.” 

We stepped onto the balcony, and Coruscant was a dim hum at our feet. We held our heads close and discussed strategy. I liked those still times, when we talked as intimate equals. Then we began to broach the delicate edge. “You look tired.” You said.

“I don’t sleep well anymore.” I admit.

“Because of your mother?” 

And because of you. But I won’t tell you that. “I don’t know why I keep dreaming about her.” I look at my feet, and think of her browned face in the Tatooine suns. You approach me. “Dreams pass in time.” You offer as comfort. I’d much rather dream about you. But I kept that to myself. 

I don’t say anything, and you smile like you know. “Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You’ve made a commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment not easily broken. Don’t forget she’s a politician, and they’re not to be trusted.” I wanted to laugh. If only you knew. 

Unfortunately, the calm did not keep for long.

An attack was made on the Senator, and you were leaping into action [through a sheet of glass and into oncoming hover traffic]. I think maybe you try to scare me, maybe your ultimate goal is to give me a heart attack. I had to steal a Speeder to save you. I would steal a thousand starships, if I had to. When I find you amidst shiny chrome shuttles and vibrant fluorescence, your falling. My heart plummets into my boots. 

I dive after you, my Speeder racing towards bright concrete. The wind was whipping through me, and my body lifts out of the vinyl seat. So scared, so scared for you. I leveled the Speeder underneath you, still falling. You float down, thumping against the trunk, and relief floods me in tiny splashes. “What took you so long?” Your voice pitches higher, and I smile. You were okay, and everything was okay. “Oh, you know, Master. I couldn’t find a Speeder that I really liked, with the open cockpit and right speed capabilities.” 

“If you spent as much time practicing your ‘saber techniques as you do your wit, you would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.” 

“I thought I already did.” 

“Only in your mind, my young apprentice.” 

And this shared banter helped to ease the fear, like balm on an open wound. Not for the first time, I thought I’d lost you. 

x

We were separated for some time, you and I. You were to hunt down the would-be-assassin, and I was to escort Padme’ back to her homeworld. We were galaxies apart, and I could feel the separation in my chest like a hole. I was so used to your warmth at my back, now there was just cold space. I wondered, did you miss me as much as I missed you? Did you feel the knifelike bite of loneliness as I did? 

I listened to Padme’, I tried to lose myself in her soft words. The gravel crunched under our feet, and the foamy waves lapped at soggy stone. “We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water.” Her face brightened in the shade, as she recounted those precious days. “We used to lie out on the sand, and let the sun dry us. And try to guess the names of the birds singing.” 

I leaned against the crumbling stone hedge, and watched the flecks of sun scatter across blue water. “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere.” I sighed. I was thinking of you again. 

“You love him, don’t you?” Force, was I so transparent? My cheeks burned starkly. 

“What are you talking about?” I was not going to admit it, I couldn’t admit it to myself, let alone say it aloud. She laughed. “I can see it in your eyes, Ani. The way you look at him, you smile that special smile. Even when you were young, you stared at him like he was your entire world.” Heat filled my face, and she was laughing again.

I guess I always knew. 

x

When I dreamt of my Mother, her face twisted and her lashes wet with tears, I knew I had to leave. You would be angry with me, but I needed to know. I needed to know where she was, why she cries and pleads. Tatooine is many parsecs away, and the journey is too long. Padme’ is there, but her presence is not enough. I think of you. 

When Cliegg Lars tells me of the Tusken Raiders, I think of you. When I go in search of her, miles of red clay and tall cliffs stretching in front of me, I think of you. When the hooded Jawa tells me of the Tusken camps just over the ridge, I think of you. When I find her, bound and beaten in a sandy tent, I think of you. Anger rears up in me like a viper, snapping and filling me with venom. 

“Ani? Is it you?” She can barely speak. I stroke trembling fingertips down her palm. “I’m here, mom. You’re safe.” Her brown eyes are big and dim, like I was a ghost. “Ani? Ani?” She cups my cheek. “Oh, you look so handsome. My son, my grown up son.” I swallow back the wet cries, and cradle her close. My heart squelched under a proverbial boot. The anger was growing. “I’m so proud of you, Ani.”

“I missed you.” I whispered. And she looked so happy. “I lo-love...” Her lips move around garbled sound. “Stay with me, Mom. Everything-I...” My breath catching, I can’t lie to her. “I-I love...” She couldn't say it. Her life winks out in a flicker of candlelight, and she falls slack in my arms. I cried. The anger was writhing and whispering sweet nothings. Hatred teetered, red and black shimmered behind my retinas. 

My fingers itched for my ‘saber. I wanted to slaughter and destroy, see Tusken blood staining the sandy, canyon ground. 

But then I think of you, of your teachings. Bloodshed does not justify bloodshed, it will only spill more. I hug my mother to my chest, and I breathe in her scent. It’s nearly lost underneath sweat and earth, but I catch the fresh baked loaf and engine oil. I think of my youth, our small mud hut, gears and bolts littering the dusty counter top. 

I think of you, and my anger dissipates like pale, morning fog. 

x

“Anakin, my long range transmitter has been knocked out. Retransmit this message to Coruscant. I have tracked the Bounty Hunter, Jango Fett, to the Droid foundries in Geonosis. The Trade Federation is to take delivery of a Droid army here, and it is clear Viceroy Gunray is behind the assassination attempts on Senator Amidala. The Commerce Guilds and the Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Count Dooku, and are forming a-Wait...Wait!” Holographic gunfire, you draw your ‘saber and deflect a few fatal shots. 

Your tiny, holographic body fizzles into nothingness. Master Windu gives the order to stay put, and protect the Senator at all costs. “Understood, Master.” But I didn’t understand, my brain was a stuttery mess and I don’t understand. Are you hurt? Are you - ? I couldn’t think the words, they wound. 

“They’ll never get there in time to save him, they have to come halfway across the galaxy! Geonosis is less than a parsec away.” 

But none of that mattered, because I had orders. Padme’ could see right through me, the chilling fear encroaching on the edges of my expression. My fingertips whitened and tingled. It hurt to breathe. You were alone on a hostile planet, desperately fighting for your freedom, your life. The temptation was dangerous, tearing through me with teeth and claws. 

“If he’s still alive.” The words were corrosive and bitter. They singed my tongue. Padme’ stared with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Ani, are you just going to sit here and let him die?” And that question hit hard. I remember feeling nauseas. “You love him-”

“Don’t! Don’t, Padme’. That doesn’t matter. You heard Master Windu, he gave me strict orders to stay here.” I stood solid, but inside I crumbled. I wanted to go, I wanted badly. You could be hurt and bleeding, and I needed to be there! I was torn apart. Duty and loyalty waged some violent war, small battles echoing in my throat and belly. Padme’ could hear my inner conflict, as I’m sure it was loud. 

“He gave you strict orders to protect me. And I’m going to help Obi-Wan.” She said with finality, turning to face the console. The course to Geonosis was laid in. “If you plan to protect me, you’ll just have to come along.”

I smiled. I would save you. 

x

Well. It wasn’t the most successful rescue attempt. 

The shackles were tight around our wrists. Padme’ and I were carted into the sandy, sunny arena. I remember red, clay pillars and a sea of bugs, squalling and flittering their papery wings. You were chained to a center pillar, and your fair skin was glowing pink in the cresting sun. You weren’t wet with blood or bruised beyond recognition, and the relief was intense. We shared a glance as I rode past.

Jostled from the hover kart, Padme’ and I were pinned and fastened to our own pillars. The stone was hot against my back. I was next to you, and everything was okay. 

“I was beginning to wonder if you got my message.” You sounded fairly exasperated, a tone I was familiar with. 

“I retransmitted it, just as you requested, Master.” I huffed. “Then we decided to come and rescue you.” 

You looked pointedly to the silver cuffs around your wrists. “Good job.” Only in those truly dire times do you embrace the sarcastic bite. And despite the dire time, my chest fills with warm cotton. You were safe. For the time being, anyway. The chain was pulled taut above me, my arms suspended over my head. The noise swelled up around us. On the red carved balcony stood Count Dooku and his worldly host, Poggle the Lesser. He said a few words in his native tongue. His clicking, rolling drawl pitched in the sandy corners of the arena. 

The cheering deafened me. Three iron, gates shivered open, and three fearsome creatures were quick to prowl from their dark confines. They kicked up the sand and silt with their clomping hooves and lashing tails. An Acklay, green and mantis-like. It squealed [too many teeth and too many legs]. A Nexu skittered in the dirt, and roared like some Terran lion. An unfortunate Geonosian guard fell to its wide mouth, his neck snapping like a twig between smiling teeth. And a Reek, tri-horned and angry. Ruddy skin stretched down its spine, fading into leathery grey. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” I said. The beasts approached us, kept in line by the Geonosian guards and the hot sizzle of their prods. “Just relax. Concentrate.” You said, your eyes moving around the arena like careful searchlights. 

x

Count Dooku was strong. I knew that. “We’ll take him together. You go in slowly on the left.” You said to me, and that’s what I did. We fought together, as one force, and we seemed to be overtaking him. We stepped forward, and he stepped back. Our ‘sabers clashed in a shock of blue, green, red. Lightning spewed from his fingertips, and you deflect the blue bolts with an easy flick of your ‘saber. I was too slow. 

The force sent me crashing. My muscles were spasming under my smoking skin. I had to watch as he taunted you. “As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now back down.” Another strike of lightening. You absorbed it into your sword. “I don’t think so.” Force, you sounded so confident. You charged, and your ‘sabers came together. I held my breath. 

“Master Kenobi, you disappoint me. Yoda holds you in such high esteem.” Thwack! Jolt! Your swords crossed. “Surely you can do better!” 

I grit my teeth, and struggled to stand. You needed me. 

His blade struck your bicep, then your thigh. “Ah!” The bright plasma burned through your tunic and melted away your flesh. I stopped. Your face [damp and tight with pain] in that moment, I’ll never forget it, not ever. Dooku raised his ‘saber high, and I think I might have made a small noise. I found the will to move. The Force lit me up like a nebula, giving birth to a million stars and everything I need. 

I blocked his attack moments before it could steal you, and our blades sizzled yellow. “Brave of you, boy. But I would’ve thought you had learned your lesson.” 

“I am a slow learner.” I snark. 

“Anakin!” You called my name, and threw me your weapon. The hilt was warm and worn. I go forward with all that I am. Dooku and I dance a few steps forward, a few steps back. I soon lose my own ‘saber. My back meets the wall. 

I cut an electrical cord in two, and we were plunged in shadows. White sparks sputter. We hold our ‘sabers high, and move slow. Then we jump at each other like junk yard dogs. Dim red and blue shadows are cast with every swing. We come and go, back and forth. I thought we were equal. I was mistaken, and I paid an unjust price. 

One curt twist, and my arm was gone. I didn’t feel it, it was too quick. I was pushed back, and I landed next to you. My head lolled, landing on your belly [hard, fibrous mountains and valleys]. I tried to blink away the black spots. I couldn’t feel my arm, it wasn’t there. You twitched under me. I failed you. I just-I wasn’t...enough. I’m sorry. I couldn’t win for you, I couldn’t save us.

I remember wondering if you would ever forgive me. 

x

The storm had passed, if only for the moment. We may have won the battle, but the war was too long in the making. I frowned at my wiggling fingers. Ugly, silver plates and golden bolts. Never to feel, to hold a calloused hand, to stroke a stubbly jaw. My heart turns to rock and falls fast. It splashes into my stomach, and I ache. 

I haven’t seen you since I was discharged from the infirmary. I imagine you’re disappointed with your choice in Padawan. I failed you, it’s understandable. But it still hurt, everything hurt. I grabbed my travel pack, and slung it over my shoulder. Padme’ smiled sympathetically, but it only hurt me more. “I’m sure he’s just busy, Ani.” 

A noncommittal grunt, and then I was turning to the hover pod. “He is under no obligation to see me off, Padme’. He isn’t my keeper.” 

“No, but I’m here nonetheless.” 

And there you were. You stood at the end of the shuttle platform, smiling at me like all the suns that were and will be. 

I turned too quickly, my neck snapped like a band. “Master!” Like an excited youngling. I could hear Padme’ laughing, but I didn’t care. You were there, and you were there. Nothing else mattered, because you came for me. Maybe you weren’t disappointed, maybe you still had faith in me. I approached you one, slow step at a time. Our eyes were caught on that string, losing ourselves in glossy shades. And then we were all tangled up, hugging and shuddering. It was nice, more than nice. I didn’t want to let you go. I still don’t.

“Can I tell you something, Master?” I mumbled into your shoulder, smelling of parchment and soap.

“Anything, Anakin.”

“I love you.”

I remember the first time we kissed. I wouldn’t trade that memory for anything. 

x 

[23]

I remember ascending into Coruscant airspace.

In a daring movie, General Grievous had kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine. It was a rescue mission. We banked left, and rolled over the plated edge of enemy Star Destroyers. Synchronized, as our teamwork was something of legend. We dropped into rainbow bright crossfire, avoiding small cruisers and smoky orange explosions. R2 chirped nervously. “Lock onto ‘em, R2. Master, General Grievous’ ship is directly ahead. The one crawling with Vulture Droids.” 

“Oh, I see it. This is going to be easy.” Your sarcastic drawl crackles through the headset. I smile, a little giddy and a little in love. “On board, do you copy?” You called out to our squadron of clones. 

“We copy, Red Leader.”

“Mark my position, form your squad out behind me.” 

“We’re on your tail, General Kenobi. In position.” 

My smile spreads like butter, as we descend into a swarm of nattering drones. “This is where the fun begins.” 

“Let them pass between us.” You didn’t sound as excited as I did, but that’s alright. I was plenty excited for the both of us. I did as ordered, and we dodged and ducked between droids. Hot explosions rocked our tail ends. Space is cold and godless, even more so when filled with starfighters and explosions. I know you don’t like to fly, it scares me sometimes. I want you to be safe. Maybe that was too much to ask for. 

Missiles are chasing us down, their tail flames leaving indigo streaks across white stars. “Surge all power units, R2. Stand by, reverse thrusters.” Then I was rolling. R2 chimes desperately, stark electronic terror. The missiles roll after me, tumbling through wispy smoke and cruiser fumes, until they kiss and ignite. I laughed. “We got em’, R2.” 

Then you flew into a pocket of Buzz Droids. My lips thinned. Not for the first time, I wished you were a better pilot. “I’m hit! Anakin?” You say my name, I can imagine you flipping switches and thinking too hard. 

“Buzz Droids.” I frowned. They were drilling into your wings, ripping open plated hatches. I could see the sparks. “They’re shutting down all the controls!” I was scared again. 

“Move to the right so I can get a clear shot at them.” 

“The mission! Get to the Command Ship, get the Chancellor. We’re running out of tricks here!” 

Now that is funny. As if I would prioritize any mission over you. You should know me better. I aim and fire. It may have done more harm than good, because you were suddenly short one wing. “In the name of - ! Hold your fire, you’re not helping here!” 

“I agree, bad idea.” 

“They’re all over me! Anakin!” Desperate times and all that. I saddle up beside you, and try to scrape the droids off with my wing. A shrill screech of metal on metal. 

“Move to the right.” Breathe, I need to breathe. 

“Hold on, Anakin. You’re going to get us both killed!” We tilt together, accelerating. 

“Get out of here! There’s nothing more you can do.”

“I’m not leaving without you, Master.” 

x

We were in the main control room of General Grievous’ Destroyer.

The Chancellor sat behind us. His wrists were caught in a pair of energy cuffs. Count Dooku stood before us, with his weapon drawn. “Get help, you’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.” Palpatine urged us. I frowned. I never cared for Chancellor Palpatine. You didn’t like him, and I trusted your judgement more than I trusted my own. He had approached me with offers of apprenticeship, but I kept my distance. You were the only mentor I needed. 

“Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our speciality.” You said with confidence. We disrobed, and took our swords in hand. 

“Your swords, please. We don’t want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.” Dooku was arrogant. He may have bested us once before, but we’ve had three long years to grow. I was stronger, you were stronger. We would win this time, I had no doubt. 

“You won’t get away this time, Dooku.” You activated your ‘saber, and held it firm. I followed your example. We charged, and it was so familiar. I remember this, and I remember losing my arm. I remember failing you. But I was stronger, I could feel the Force beating like a second heart. I wouldn’t fail you again. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this.” Dooku smiled, small and insane. 

“My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.” I warned him. His smile only sharpened. “Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.” His arrogance would end him. 

We charged again. Our blades trembled together. He pushed you back with a burst of Force, and I remember your back smacking loud against cold durasteel. Anger warmed my belly. I fought hard, and Dooku retreated up the staircase. 

You were up like a spring, your blade severing a B1 Battle Droid in two flickering pieces. We came at Count Dooku from both sides, but it wasn’t enough. I was tossed aside, the Force throwing me back like something weightless. He raised you high, your feet dangling and your throat collapsing under invisible hands. 

Then you were thrown. You hit the floor with a thud, and you didn’t get up. Dooku manipulated the Force with an easy flap, and the balcony above you came crashing. Your legs were pinned. The anger simmered up my gullet, and I swallowed. Were you hurt? Were your legs broken? Would you ever recover? I charged with everything. I kicked, and Dooku went down.

He got back up, and we fought like desperate men. Our ‘sabers crossed, red and blue. “I sense great fear in you, Skywalker.” The love of my life was unconscious, and his legs may or may not be broken. So, yes. I was a little scared. “You have anger, but you won’t use it.” I won’t fuel my fight with anger. It isn’t the Jedi way, and it isn’t your way.

We break apart, and come together in brief, noisy slashes. I’m afraid for you, but fear is not my master. I breathe and think and fight. My brain chimes like a bell, clean and clear. Dooku stumbles back. There was confusion in his round eyes, I can see him wondering. I sweep my ‘saber like a windmill, and his hands were just not there. His wrists smoldered and glowed golden. He didn’t bleed, he only burned. 

Dooku crumpled to his knees, and his ‘saber went flying. I caught it, and held the two blades at his throat. I’ve won. 

“Good, Anakin, good.” Palpatine laughed. I spared him a sidelong glance. 

“Kill him, kill him now.” The Chancellor ordered, and there was no hesitation. Dooku looked to him in disbelief. I blinked. 

What? Why would I...?

“It’s not the Jedi way, Chancellor.” I informed him curtly, and retracted both blades. Dooku whimpered, a keening breath. “Thank you.” He choked out. Palpatine was glaring, his thin white brows falling heavy. I ignored Count Dooku, and I ignored Chancellor Palpatine. You were hurt. You needed me. 

You were my only concern. 

x

We were at the Shuttle Port. I love this memory. 

The Royal Court was waiting to greet their Chancellor, and take the fiendish Count Dooku into custody. You and I are the last ones aboard the shuttle. “Are you coming, Master?” You smile at me, and I love that smile. Cheeky and pink, your russet mustache bristling. “Oh, no. I’m not brave enough for politics. I have to report to the Council. Besides, someone needs to be the Poster Boy.” You winked, your tawny lashes kissing your browned cheek. 

“Hold on, this whole operation was your idea!” I accuse.

“Let us not forget, Anakin, that you rescued me from the Buzz Droids. And you captured Count Dooku, and you rescued the Chancellor. All while carrying me unconscious on your back.” 

I flushed at all the praise. “All because of your training.” I remind you. But you won’t have it. Your smile was so warm. “Anakin, let’s be fair. Today, you were the hero, and you deserve your glorious moment with the politicians.” 

“I’d much rather be with you.” I stepped close to you, and you opened your arms for me. 

I wrapped around your neck, and you took my waist in large palms. It was instinct. And in the back of my mind, I knew we could be seen. But I was so in love, and I didn’t care. I still don’t. “I know, Anakin, I know. But we have our duties.” You murmured against me, your facial hair coarse against my sensitive patches. “We won’t be separated for long.” 

I tighten around you like some hungry serpent. “It’s always too long, Obi-Wan.” I was whispering. I wondered if you heard me. But you laughed, and I knew. We pressed hard, leaving no space for the cold to gather. It was still and quiet, sounds of people and crafts were distant. Wet kisses sizzled over my throat. Your name, sweet and stuttered. “I thought I lost you again.” My fingers tangled in your sandy strands. “I’m sorry.” You were biting down, my skin molding to your teeth like pastry dough. 

Our mouths met. Lips sliding like wet sand, the friction burned us up. It was slow, I remember. You know how I like your slow kisses. You nibbled like a small critter, and I moaned like some backworld pleasure worker. Our tongues curled and fluttered. Like every kiss before, I didn’t want to stop. Breathing was overrated.

But we did stop, we had to. Our foreheads thunked together, and you looked at me like I was everything. “I’ll see you at the briefing.” 

You were never the romantic. 

x

Chancellor Palpatine requested I be placed on the Jedi Council, as his personal representative. I found his request strange. I didn’t like Palpatine, and I assumed he didn’t much care for me. I voiced this to the Council. They weren’t happy with the idea, and I understood. I wasn’t ready to be a Master. “Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing, is this move by Chancellor Palpatine.” Yoda frowned. 

I nodded. “I thought it to be an odd request.” 

“You’re on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.” Master Windu said, just as dry and grave as when I was a youngling. It was a fair decision, and I wasn’t much bothered by it. “Thank you for granting me this honor. I know I have yet to earn it.” With a low bow, I sat in my chair. Because it was my chair now. Your smile was tiny, but impossibly bright. You were proud of me. 

I learned I was to report on the Chancellor and all his dealings, a spy for the Council. You said our allegiance was to the Senate, not to its leader. Palpatine had managed to stay in Office long after his term had expired, and something just didn’t fit. I knew you were right, you’re always right. I could feel it, the Force hung around him like a dark veil. Chancellor Palpatine was not to be trusted.

x

When the Council next met, I had troubling news. 

You were right. Of course you were right. Chancellor Palpatine was corrupt, I was certain. He had called upon me the evening before, and the words he shared were unsettling. He spoke of a Sith legend, a Sith Lord called Darth Plagueis. This Sith Lord was said to posses such incredible power, he could manipulate the midichlorians to create life. He could rescue a loved one from the brink of death.

And the Force darkened like a shade, vibrating around him in black, humming bubbles. It was temptation. But you taught me well. I trusted you to take care of yourself, I know how strong you are. I was not tempted by the saccharine whispers of the Dark Side.

“Palpatine thinks General Grievous is on Utapau.” Master Koon said skeptically. 

“A partial message was intercepted in a diplomatic package from the Chairman of Utapau.” I leaned forward, meeting your eyes from across the room. You nodded your approval. 

“Mmm. Act on this, we must. The capture of General Grievous will end this war. Quickly and decisively, we should proceed.” Master Yoda frowned, and I’d never seen him frown so much. I sucked in a mouthful of air, and steeled myself. 

“I have news I’d like to report, before we decide on who to send.” And every eye in the room pinned me to my seat. I cleared my throat, it felt thick. 

“I fear that Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord, Darth Sidious.”

The silence was obnoxious. I swallowed nervously. Master Yoda was the first to regain his wits. His grassy eyes were hard and thin. “Brought you to this conclusion, what has?” 

“It’s just a suspicion, I don’t have hard proof.” 

“He spoke to me of the Dark Side, told me an old Sith legend. He said the Jedi Council sought to overthrow him, and that we were desperate to keep our power over the Republic. He tried to sway me against the Jedi, I’m certain of it.” My voice clanged like iron. I meet the eyes of every Master, as I need them to understand. 

It was quiet, and then noise. You were staring at me, and I wondered what you were thinking. Were you proud of me? Upset? Had I done something wrong? You make me so uncertain, it’s shameful. The Masters argue loudly, I couldn’t make out words. Master Windu snarls out some unintelligible curse, and calls for silence. The noise quiets. 

“Discuss this later, we will. To Utapau, who will go? A Master is needed, with much experience.” Master Yoda glances about the room. 

You were nominated to go. You accepted. I worried for you, but I always worry for you. 

x

“You’re going to need me on this one, Master.” And yes, I may have been pouting.

“Oh, I agree. However, it may turn out to be just a wild Bantha chase.” You tickled pink fingertips against my palm, and smiled a little mischievously. I leaned close, I couldn’t help it. You drew me in. I was a fish caught on your treble hook. I wanted you to kiss me, but I knew you wouldn’t [not here]. I sighed nervously. “About the Chancellor - ”

“Stay away from him, Anakin. You are mine, and soon, he’ll learn.” Force, that low growl tingles through me. Your hand settles in the shallow dip of my back. I creep closer, and I breathe you in. Parchment and soap. “Please come back to me.” 

“I’ll always come back to you, Anakin. You’re my entire world.” A chaste kiss to the side of my wanting mouth, and you were gone from my side.

x

I remember the arrest of Chancellor Palpatine. 

You were away, still on Utapau. Master Windu had allowed me to assist, to my complete surprise. I’d finally earned his trust, it only took fourteen years. 

We entered Palpatine’s primary office, all chilly grey and modern edges. He swiveled around to face us. His white face tightened, wrinkles bunching around his eyes. “Ah, Master Windu. And young Skywalker! I take it General Grievous has been destroyed then. I must say, you’re here sooner than expected.” He made a show of nonchalance.

“In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you’re under arrest, Chancellor.” We drew our weapons, and raised them high. 

“Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?” 

“The Senate will decide your fate.” 

“I am the Senate.” His voice trembled low, as though small stones were jumping in his throat. 

“Not yet.” 

Palpatine stood slow, and a ‘saber fell into his spindly fingers. “It’s treason then.” 

And he was attacking, spiraling through the air like a prophesied comet. Three measured strikes, and three Jedi Knights fell to their knees. It was suddenly just Master Windu and I. Palpatine was strong, but we were stronger. Master Windu was a force all his own, but I lent him a great advantage. Our weapons sparked together, and the fluorescent colors cast shadows on the floor. We had his back to the plexiglass, nowhere to go. 

Our blades shattered the glass on impact, and wind whipped through us. 

A strong kick from Master Windu, and Palpatine went tumbling. His sword fell to the city lights, and he was skittering back like a cornered mouse. “You are under arrest, My Lord.” Master Windu sneered, his thick lip curling over white teeth. Palpatine was desperate, our swords shining at his gullet, and he looked to me. 

“Anakin! I told you it would come to this! I was right, the Jedi are taking over!”

“The oppression of the Sith will never return. You have lost.” Master Windu was getting impatient. So was I. 

“No, no, no, you have lost!” 

Electric blue bolts were hot and sudden from his fingertips. Master Windu deflected the brunt of his attack with a twist of his ‘saber, absorbing the flow of lightning. He was pushing against the bright surge, steadily overtaking the fallen Chancellor. 

“I have the power to save the ones you love! You must choose!” Palpatine beseeched me. His skin was smoldering, black smoke curling over stray silver hairs. It was simple, I didn’t have to think. 

My sword sank into Palpatine like warm butter. His lightning flickered pale blue, and the Chancellor stared at me in absolute bewilderment. 

It was an easy decision. I don’t need power. I don’t need to rule the galaxy. I don’t need to create life. You don’t need saving. I’m happy. I’m happy with me, and I’m happy with you. We’re always together, and we do good things. I’ve found the other half of my soul, the wise and mature half. I get angry sometimes, but everyone gets a little angry. You hold my hand when I have nightmares, you kiss away my cuts and bruises, you meditate with me and you bring me breakfast in bed. 

It was an easy decision. 

x

When you returned, I was waiting for you.

I stretched out in our bed, and it was too cold. I wrapped myself in your favorite blanket. I hated the itchy wool, but it smelled like you [parchment and soap]. I would never tire of that smell. I lay bare underneath the shabby wool, and smoothed a hand down my stomach. It didn’t feel the same, too thin. Your hand was wide and calloused, heavier than my own. Kriff, I missed you. 

The sun was sinking behind durasteel beams and glass windows, and the city lights shone like neon dreams in the creeping nighttime. I began to doze, and you were electric behind my eyes. When you grin at me, your dimples grow round and rosy. Your hair, I love your hair. Every sandy strand has its place, tucked away neatly. Your beard is grating against me, and I ache for the tickle and itch. I know I complain, but I love it when you lecture me. You puff up like a Ranphyx, and your tan face colors like a rose. Your voice rolls with passion, rising like the Manaan ocean tide. 

My heart beats a little faster. I wondered what would have become of me, had I not fallen for you so hard.


End file.
